I typed random joke in google, it took me to a page and the first joke I came across was:
"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible."
"If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump."
[Reply]
The day the P*nis Asked for a raise
I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
* I do physical labour.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge head first into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P. Niss
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
* You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
[Reply]
Originally Posted by Buleste:
The day the P*nis Asked for a raise
I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
* I do physical labour.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge head first into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P. Niss
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
* You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
HAHA! That is classic!
[Reply]