Classicamiga Forum Retro Edition
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Thread: Moving to Australia
Harrison 12:40 9th April 2010
I keep forgetting about Google Street View.

They announced the other week in the Chichester Observer that Google have finally completed Chichester, and there was a funny article/letter in the paper where a guy noticed the Google van was coming down his street, so he stood in his driveway and mooned it as it went by. Sadly he discovered the van later did his street again (for obvious reasons).
Stephen Coates 12:51 9th April 2010
They did Sheffield a while back. I noticed a few months ago that the dual carriageway which goes through Wickersley was done, but now our whole area is photographed.

It has blurred out the street sign on the road where my grandparents live, as awell as an estate agents board. Perhaps it thought they were car registration plates. Also, the registration number of a car in Sheffield (someone who I know) is visible, as are the faces of several people walking along the pavement on my street.
Harrison 13:14 9th April 2010
Chichester is quite well done, although as the centre of the town is pedestrian only, you don't get to explore the actual centre streets, which is annoying. They have even done our road, but you can't quite see our house as it is down a small close and they never went down that actual close, just the main part, but you can see the drive and annoyingly a friend's car is parked there instead of ours.
J T 22:04 12th April 2010
Originally Posted by Stephen Coates:
What kind of work will you be doing?

Well, I hope you enjoy your stay there, and well done for getting a job (I'm having trouble finding work even in my local area).

I would like to visit Austrailia sometime. I doubt it will be in the forseeable future though.
Cheers, Steve. I'll still be doing science researchy stuff, similar to what I do now, but this job is a good step up the career ladder so I'm pleased.

We're thinking of living in the charmingly named Wollongong (a city by the sea), but I have to see when we get out there what the drive is like between there and work as it involves a mountain forest pass that some people has described as 'tricky'.
Buleste 09:25 13th April 2010
Just remember you won't be able top get any Malt Loaf out there. And you'll have to use Vegemite.
Harrison 12:34 13th April 2010
Vegemite... Urr... worse that Marmite... and that is saying something!

And have you factored in the fact you will be surrounded by Australians?

On a more positive note, have you seen some of the muscle cars they still make over there? And supped up pick-ups?
Stephen Coates 15:53 13th April 2010
Originally Posted by Harrison:
And have you factored in the fact you will be surrounded by Australians?
Is that better or worse than moving to America and being surrounded by Americans?
Harrison 16:31 13th April 2010
Oh, definitely better. At least in Australia they are more like the American's of the 1950's!
Stephen Coates 17:31 13th April 2010
What were American's like in the 1950s?
Teho 19:19 13th April 2010
I browsed around the site the other day (followed a link there, and closed the last tab three days later. That site is dangerous!) and looked at the article Everything Trying To Kill You. Under real-life examples, there is a long list under Australia:
Originally Posted by :
  • Arguable Truth In Television: Australia.
  • That's not very nice
  • No, this Aussie can comfirm that this is true. About the only things that aren't dangerous or poisonous are some of the sheep. And maybe wallabies. The following things will kill you: common spiders, the most common snakes, ticks, crocodiles, sharks, jellyfish, stonefish, we have a seashell that will go for you and deliver a very painful, fast death. Even platypus are poisonous.
  • Even the Trees can kill you!
  • Except that, if a spider spins a web (as in a traditional, picturebook cobweb), it won't kill you normally. Just make you wish it had.
  • One hesitates to point out that the sheep aren't native to Australia.
  • This troper collapsed in stitches at reading "some of the sheep]]." One wonders what the other ones are like.
  • In fact, sheep wound shepherds more than any other animals. You can't really befriend a sheep (too stupid - Try pigs, dogs, cows or horses, but not sheep) and they like to run into you legs when you turn back from them.
  • RAMpaging maniacs. Didn't you ever read Discworld/The Last Continent?
  • Is this because wallabies are too small to kill you?
  • ...yes.
  • a wallaby could still probably break a few of your ribs by kicking you, and thats pretty bad as broken ribs can lead to punctured lungs or a punctured heart.
  • Then there's the most humiliating thing of all - death by Wombat.
  • The wombat hits! You die....
  • Don't forget Drop Bears.
  • and then there is the kangaroo, which is quite capable of disemboweling a person with its back feet.
  • Breaking the old stereotype that island faunas are wimpy, kangaroos have proven themselves quite able to compete with other animals on the mainland. So don't diss the 'roo, mate!
  • Looking at the top 10 list of nearly any given venomous animal in the world, numbers 1-9 probably live in Australia, and the one that doesn't is a pushover by comparison.
  • I believe I read that the most poisonous snake in the world lives only on one island near Brazil, but have a population density of between one and five snakes per square meter. Apparently no one has ever managed to successfully live on said island, to the point where the Brazilian navy declared it totally off limits for everyone ever.
  • We also have a poisonous Monotreme (sub-species of a Mammal), the Platypus. I think it is the only poisonous mammal on earth.
  • Actually, it's the only VENOMOUS mammal. Still, a venomous mammal!?!
  • Not the only one. Shrews are venomous too, although they're too little for their bites to be more than uncomfortable to humans. If you're a mouse, though, watch out.
  • It's not merely venomous, it has probably the most terrifying venom in nature. The other animals on this list will just kill you, the Platypus isn't that humane. It's venom attacks the victim's pain receptors, cranking them up to 11 and ripping off the knob. It causes pain so horrible that even the highest non-lethal dose of morphene isn't enough. To stop the pain doctors actually have to physically sever the nerve from the affected area to the brain because that's the only thing powerful enough.
  • According to the Made Of Explodium page, eucalyptus trees have a rather amusing tendency to, well, explode, given the proper stressors. Truly a gamer's continent.
  • Eucalypts also produce dry, waxy leaves and loose bark that fuel the frequent and highly dangerous bushfires, and have a tendency to lose branches in high winds, or just after said fires. Add in the fact that eucalypt branches are often 1-2 metres in length, and all grow from the top foot or so of trunk, and you can see that even the trees are trying to kill you.
  • Tha's jus' what I've been sayin' this whole time!
  • Australian plant life has specifically evolved to take advantage of regular bushfires. They grow back quickly. But as for everyone else...
  • And that's just the stuff on land, they also have - apart from the sharks and saltwater crocodiles - blue ringed octopus, box jellyfish, cone snails, stingrays, etc.
  • The only non-poisonous creatures in Australia are the Great White Sharks and Salt Water Crocodiles.
  • That's a good thing? This troper would rather be bitten by a funnelweb than a Saltie. At least spiders kill you faster.
  • That is one of the reasons why Steve Irwin is considered one of the best Real Life badasses. "Now watch as I approach the kangaroo's babies, if I'm not careful the mama will rip off my arm and start beating me with it!!" Nothing he says is worth anything less then two exclamation points.
  • Kangaroos are very, very badass. They have been reported to beat the crap out of Australia's native apex predator, the dingo. There are stories of kangaroos grabbing dingos and drowning them underwater.
  • And yet, he was afraid of birds.
  • Have you ever 'heard' of the Cassowary before?
  • Emus are basically really big velociraptors with feathers and a beak. Be glad that you do not meet their dietary needs.
  • If you think that's bad, Australia was even more of a Death World back in the Pleistocene, when humans first arrived. Carnivorous buzz-saw toothed kangaroos? Ckeck. Monitor-lizards the size of a city bus? Check. Climbing warm-blooded saw-toothed crocodiles? Check. Gigantic killer pseudo-python? Check. Marsupial lion with sickle thumbs? Check. The Demon Duck of Doom! (I'm not joking, scientists actually call it that). Oh yeah, its there. Ninjemys, a gigantic horned turtle built like a panzer tank (and yes, the name means exactly what you think it means), check.
  • Actually, the species' name as a whole might mean then, but Ninjemys (which, by the way, was one of the smaller breeds of the Meiolaniidae family) has a name that translates into English as "Owen's Ninja Turtle". The largest of the Meiolaniidae only grew to 2.5 meters anyway.
  • This Cracked article feels appropriate. No, it isn't all in Australia, but half of it is.
  • Then there's the Dingoes. Some animals can do worse things to you than kill you.
  • They could get your baby?
  • Dingoes aren't properly native (reckoned to have arrived about 4000 years ago).
  • Another Oz-related Cracked article.
  • Any child growing up in Australia learns (unless the parents are trying to kill the kid) a long list of things that can kill you, practically by heart. It's a long list, and just to make sure at least one state teaches it in primary schools.
  • As an Australian I briefly thought this was a bit overkill - then I remembered that there are only two species of ant in the world that are potentially lethal, and both have colonies all over our property. I've been bitten by them a few times as well..
  • And this list doesn't even take into account the humans born and raised Australia!
  • Well Australia did start out as a prison colony...
  • Actually, we're pretty nice. Though we do have one of the most professional and effective militaries in the world.
  • And they drive on the wrong side of the road there too!
  • Don't forget the Koala Bears. If you try to hug a wild one, they will be happy to "hug" you back with razor sharp claws that are designed to be habitats for nasty shit, making them natural experts of biological warfare.
  • And have you ever heard one growl at you? The cute little bears sound like giant ogres!
  • Out of all these critters, the only ones that really cramp your style are the jellyfish. Sharks? Pfft, there's like three left. Spiders? Don't go picking up random bits of rusty iron. Snakes? Make a lot of noise whilst walking through undergrowth, wear tough shoes, etc. Stonefish/cone shells? Don't walk barefoot on reefs. Drop bears? Don't hang around underneath gum trees. But jellyfish? "Oh, I'm sorry if you wanted to go for a swim at that otherwise harmless sandy beach when it's 42 degrees. We'll just be floating around by our thousands, invisible and potentially fatal."
  • They may not be dangerous to humans, but the only known variety of sea squirt that snares prey like a Venus fly-trap rather than passively filtering water lives just off Australia.
  • Maybe all that is why Australians are so good at killing people. It kind of rubs off.
  • Speaking of Cracked, column writer Robert Brockway has written a book titled "Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead"
  • This troper wonders if the lyrebird can do anything to you besides reciting a Brown Note.
  • Australia isn't the only place trying to kill you. How about the ocean? Let's see, it's the most plentiful source of water, too bad you die if you drink any of it. Also home to the largest animals in the world, including sharks, whales, and dolphins. Not to mention when things are venomous, they're really poisonous, most can kill you if they sting or bite. Jellyfish, sea urchins, lion fish, octopi, etc. Oh, and it's also home to the one animal in the world that's actually electricified as a weapon. The electric eel.
  • Octopi are rarely dangerous, in spite of their reputation. First, almost no octopi are venomous (although one that is has a venom stronger than that of any poisonous snake, and you WILL die if it bites you.) Second, the giant octopi, the only ones capable of harming a human with sheer size, usually hide in caves deeper than human beings tend to dive. Third, in the very rare situation that an octopus is harming you, you can usually get it to let go by pinching the incredibly sensitive membrane between the arms.
  • Of course, most of these congregate in the waters around Australia.
So, umm... Safe journey, JT! Seriously!
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