I had a conversation tonight with someone who will soon join Funcom to work on an expansion pack for Age of Conan, someone I consider a friend and with which I once wanted to work on a Fallout game.

A long time ago I told him I really wanted to become a game designer and have an impact on the market, create games that truly mattered and moved people, perhaps for the money and the fame, but mostly because I love good games and good stories and wish to share these with others.
They say it is human nature to give.

But my friend has made me realise the harshness that is the game business, it is not so much the art as making money, of course I knew that it sells more to make games for the mainstream class than complex or story deep games that not everyone grasps, but I always lived with the idea that there would be a way in between.

But I understand what he is saying; and that is the thing I hate the most.

The simple truth is, to get somewhere in the game business one must have ambition, skills, determination, that is the way to get in, and with hard work and some luck, one day you might reach a position in which you are able to fulfil some of your dreams.

I have the ambition, I have the desire, but I do not know if I have the skills, and quite frankly I don’t know if I have what it takes.
All I have is doubt and that has been with me for a long time.

In a way I just realised the great joke that was going on, and that I am the butt of it, being naïve and hopeful enough that I might be able to realise a dream I had since my teens; to make games I wanted to make.

Well world, I hope you have a good laugh.
I hate you, for all the nasty things you have done to me in the past and what you continuing to do to this present day,
I hate you and if I could I would destroy you, to make you feel pain and sorrow, to make you burn and everyone on it.
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You are not sounding too positive Ghost.

The games industry is like any other large industry. It has to make money in order to survive. The closest comparison has to be with the film industry.

As for getting a job in the industry. What were you considering actually doing? What skills do you have that can be utilised? Programming, animation, level design, 3D character modelling? These days jobs in the gaming industry require quite specific skill sets. You can't just state you want to make games like you could in the 8-bit days.

To create a game these days for mainstream commercial release is not possible single handed and requires teams of people. Coding could involve programming the different parts of the game engine from the AI and how characters interact with the environments around them, to how the game engine draws the environment and works out the lighting. Graphics could be a wide variety of different things. You have interface design, concept drawings and story boarding, 3D modelling of all of the objects in the game, level and environment design, text mapping and light design and setup, animation and character rigging. And then there is audio with music composition, external commercial music licensing... and on top of all that could be many more people such as facial lip sync animators, video editors etc...

Creating games is a huge and complex process these days. But that equally means you don't need to be able to create a game from beginning to end, or be able to do all aspects of it. Focusing on one key area such as learning 3DSMax and how to animate could be all that is needed if that area interested you the most, or something else within the production process if that did instead.

But the big question is how to get noticed and get the first job. That involves dedication and focus. Creating show reels of work if graphics is the area you are interested in, or creating demos to demonstrate coding ability. And with enough time also creating a fully working demo game to show what you can do.

If you didn't on the other hand have any skills in the actual building of a game, then there is still the concept. The story and design of the game before anything is actually started. For this you would still need some artistic skill for concept drawings, along with writing skill to create initial drafts of story ideas and plotlines.
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Don't forget there are still the people who create games and release them on the net sometimes free, sometimes for donations and sometimes for a minimal price. So there are still people who make games for artistic and positive reasons although unfortunatly they do it more as a hobby than to make a living.

As for your doubt, well doubt is a waste of energy untill you actually try and either fail or succeed. If you try you will no longer have to doubt as then you'll know. And if you fail? Keep on trying until you succeed.

Rampant commercialism is within every industry and no matter what you do you always have to weigh up which you value more integrity or financial gain and then do what most people do and compromise.
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Exactly. If you want something so much then go for it and give it everything you've got. If you don't try you will never know.

Equally I totally agree regarding compromise. This is a big facor in the design world, with you needing to design to client tastes, or existing design specifications. Very rarely can you be let free to design whatever you personally wish.
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Have you ever played The Longest Journey or Dreamfall? Both by Funcom. Both were very deep stories, as befits adventure games.

These two games moved people. The characters were so real you could identify with them, and see their flaws and hopes and dreams. You felt loss when you finished the games.

They weren't traditional 'mainstream' but they've done exceedingly well because of their great design, story and engagement. TLJ was released in 1998 and is still selling 10 years on; DF is on PC and XBox360, and you can get it off Steam. Funcom have done well out of them and have even gotten a government grant for the next game, due to the powerful storytelling of these two games.

You clearly have the desire to do what you believe in - you only need the skills you're hired for (game design, not, for example, graphics), and your passion will give you the determination to see your project through to the end.

You are not being a naïve dreamer, you are being true to yourself and you should follow what you believe in. If you want to make games, I say make them. You can start by releasing them as freeware as personal projects, so are not constrained by money or project mentality, and build up your art and experience until you can take it to a developer and show them the praise and following you've received from real gamers.

I can see how much this means to you, and if you bring this desire to realise your dreams into your games, people will see this - and this is where the magic lies. TLJ & DF moved people because of the magic in there, it was so clear that the writers wanted to really excel and make a deep, complex, gripping game that left you thinking about them long after you'd finished. Those games really matter, to a lot of people.

I applaud you for having a dream, and wanting to achieve it. Find like-minded people who have the skills you lack (there's a big community of amateur game-makers on the forum at bigbluecup.com), and make it happen.
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Working hard to become part of online communities with similar goals to your own is definitely a good place to start. Members of these communities will also be looking for others to help them create projects. or for other's projects to work on. But try to be open minded to any projects as this could allow you to work on something that will be useful to showcase what you can do.
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I don't know what some of you think of the following, calling me wimp of whatever, but I was honestly hurt to the point that tears rolled down my cheeks when I realized fully when my friend told me the reality of the situation; for a while it pretty much felt that I had wasted energy and effort over the years into a goal that is not attainable for me.

I have focused school on this effort, though my course would allow to go into other directions once I have finished it, my intention was to continue studying towards learning how to design.
Perhaps it is in the UK too (no doubt about it), there is a school here in the Netherlands were once can learn how to make games, and one of my hopes was perhaps to go there.

I have calmed down since I wrote the initial article, I promise to respond in more detail to your supportive responses.
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Yes, there are university courses in the UK for game design, however many gaming industry professionals don't think these courses are worth it. And I have to agree. It is better to focus on getting a degree in specifically the area you want to focus on, rather than do a video game design degree that won't really teach you much of each aspect of game designing and making.

For example if you wanted to go into the design side of it then a degree in graphic design focusing on computer bases design would be a better direction to take. Many courses offer animation and 3D modelling these days. Likewise if programming was the direction you wished to take, then a degree in computer science would be better.

Why? Easy really. If you did a degree in just video games design then your options at the end of the course would be very limited. However a degree in computer science would allow you to get a job in any field of computer programming, or a degree in graphic design any job within the design industry. Is much better to have more options available at the end.
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The other thing about courses in computer games design is they can't teach creativity and if anything they stiffle it and everyone who comes off these courses are only capable of creating the same games.

The most important thing is don't give up before you've even tried. You're doing the right thing in getting an education but rather than focusing on the games industry as the be all and end all why not just have that as a goal to aim for but in the mean time compromise. You never know you might find yourself in a completely different job and enjoying it.

But as Harrison said it is by far better getting a more general degree and being able to get a job outside the gaming industry than getting a specialised degree and not being able to get a job at all or even worse getting the dream job you've always wanted and hating it.
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okay.... if anyone tells you the day of the bedroom coder is over, they are talking out of thier sanctomunious arse!

most games today are stemed from an idea by a 1 or two people this is then pickup for developement by teams...

heres a little secret... YOU DONT NEED MILLIONS OF $$$$$$ TO MAKE A GAME.

start small and build on your sucesses.... look at the rate mobile gaming has taken off... there are cheap programming suits you can download if not completely free...

Look at te fame a lot of Addictive POPCAP games are,

start small.... start 2D build up the tools for the types of games YOU enjoy... when you have something, you can then approach a large company like EA.

I have spoken to a lot of EA and other Devlopment houses, and what they look for mainly is SKILL... so IF you enjoy coding or designing in game developement, then apporach them.

I have several friends that work for EA, and although both have a Degree (BSc) in Comp science the thing that got thier foot in the door was infact they had built thier own 3D engines.... again...

this is EASY have a look here this got me through my graphics module

Its too easy to be disheartened and i will say, DONT PUT YOURSELF DOWN, there are too many poeple out there that will do that for you.

so my friend, pick yourself up... dust of the dirt... and DO IT.... YOUR WAY!!!!
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